I endured abuse as a child. I’m sure most people today have some scars from some sort of dysfunction in their early family life. My purpose here is not to tell horror stories, but I will tell you about how it has affected my life.

I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.

I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.

Getting rid of the insecurities and fears of my ego will be a lifelong process. But I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. And, in contrast to the average 2nd marriage stats, mine is going really well. I credit this to being willing to look at my own faults.

I have always looked for ways to overcome my severe insecurities and deep-seated beliefs of being less-than or unlovable. I could recognize them, but had no idea how to change them. I am a very religious person, so I turned to my teachings there first. But, have been open to any new teaching or method that aligned with my current beliefs and offered hope.

I won’t go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn’t ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.

The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don’t want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren’t the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They’ll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.

Think of the 5 billion people who share this planet who you wouldn’t want to trade places with? Gratitude! I would dare say that in any given hour of your day there is somethin to be grateful for.

You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.

Believe me, I am not judging anyone who may be depressed, or has gone through difficult circumstances and is not happy. I have been there. I know that pain, and the work it sometimes takes to get through. I’m just hoping that my experience will help someone get to joy a little faster. It is how life was meant to be lived. “Men are that they might have joy.

The first time I encountered the name of Bob Proctor was in a book called ‘The Secret’ by author Rhonda Byrne, which focused on the Law of attraction. He featured predominantly in the book, indeed being the one to reveal the ‘The Secret’, and after watching the film adaptation his vibrant personality and smiling face helped to further drill his beliefs on life success into me.

His words, empowering yet friendly, facilitated further investigation into who this man was exactly, and why he was qualified to be showing me the way to a life of abundance. It didn’t take long to recognise that this man was living proof of how one’s life can change in a short time with the right application of the mind. Here was a man who had been a High School dropout, had a back catalogue of dead end jobs and had faced the prospect of debt. Surely any Bob Proctor coaching could only be beneficial as he had made his own success, created something out of nothing to be earning a fortune within months.

Via his website, Bob Proctor coaching promises to show you how to bridge the gap from the life of wanting to the life of having. He offers his experience in a range of programs designed to target the specific areas of your life, those things about yourself which you want to change and improve upon.

If at first it sounded like I’d heard it all before, for the promise of getting rich quick and living an ideal life is nothing new. But, having seen this man talking passionately at me, having read his words and already having some knowledge of the Law of Attraction, this was a man I could believe in.

All that I needed was to be aware of was that it was the past conditioning of my own mind which was probably holding me back from the life of spiritual awareness and enjoying a wonderful relationship. All I needed to do in order to change, was to want to change, to take that plunge and ask for help in how to get it. The Bob Proctor program, the Bob Proctor success is there for all to see.

Listen to his own words “Tell me what you want and I’ll show you how to get it!” What more of a powerful message could there be to get something that you’ve always wanted?

Then I realised. I’d always wanted a life of success in writing.

But when I started questioning how to get the things I want, I realised that there were other things which I wanted in my life. I wanted my perfect partner and spiritual awareness, for example. Sure a healthier bank balance would be on the list, but knowing how to get all that was surely out of one’s reach, wasn’t it? At least without extensive life changes, and indeed, possessing the knowledge of how to change in the first place.

But then I discovered that it was no big secret. Actually, it was, for ‘The Secret’, a book by Rhonda Byrne introduced me to the Law of Attraction. It is a universal law which allows you to ask for anything and receive it. Simple as that. Well, after learning the Law of Attraction, I realised it wasn’t quite as black and white as that, for like everything, something needs to be invested. But in the case of the Law of Attraction, all it needed was my desire and will to change my mind set, live of a life of gratitude and to understand how the law works within the universe. It also required me to learn some new techniques to improve my thinking, and so be able dedicate my thoughts powerfully to my desires.

So does it all work? For me it has so far. Starting off small as ‘The Secret’ suggested, I manifested a cup of coffee that I didn’t make myself during the day, a cup gratefully made by a colleague who had never been zealous in their generosity. Another day I was committed to thinking of an old friend who I hadn’t heard from in months, only to have someone mention them during the course of that particular day.
If these were conclusive steps of proof, things I had attracted into my life, imagine what more could be done from attracting my soul mate, to manifesting abundance in wealth and prosperity. Bigger and better things, the Law of Attraction knows no limits to the size of the desire.

Further reading, especially through the words of Esther Hicks who promotes the Law of Attraction through the Teachings of Abraham, it’s hard to see how it can fail. “That which is like unto itself is drawn,” Hicks quotes on her website. You use your mind to manifest your desires and the universe does the rest as it makes everything vibrate in perfect harmony.

Learn the Law of Attraction. It costs nothing but a little application of the mind. Again from the Teachings of Abraham, “It’s not your work to make anything happen. It’s your work to dream it and let it happen.“

What other deal in the universe is more tempting than that?