I endured abuse as a child. I’m sure most people today have some scars from some sort of dysfunction in their early family life. My purpose here is not to tell horror stories, but I will tell you about how it has affected my life.

I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.

I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.

Getting rid of the insecurities and fears of my ego will be a lifelong process. But I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. And, in contrast to the average 2nd marriage stats, mine is going really well. I credit this to being willing to look at my own faults.

I have always looked for ways to overcome my severe insecurities and deep-seated beliefs of being less-than or unlovable. I could recognize them, but had no idea how to change them. I am a very religious person, so I turned to my teachings there first. But, have been open to any new teaching or method that aligned with my current beliefs and offered hope.

I won’t go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn’t ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.

The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don’t want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren’t the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They’ll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.

Think of the 5 billion people who share this planet who you wouldn’t want to trade places with? Gratitude! I would dare say that in any given hour of your day there is somethin to be grateful for.

You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.

Believe me, I am not judging anyone who may be depressed, or has gone through difficult circumstances and is not happy. I have been there. I know that pain, and the work it sometimes takes to get through. I’m just hoping that my experience will help someone get to joy a little faster. It is how life was meant to be lived. “Men are that they might have joy.

What does it mean to have more? Exactly, what do you want more of? Do you even know? This question forces you to schedule a short date with yourself, for the purpose of exploring what really matters to you and what you are willing to do about it.

The Irish political activist Bernadette Davis reminds us, “To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else.” I know this takes unbounded courage and strength. Just remember, life is short. Live it your way. If you could create your life the way you want it, actually live by your standards, exactly what would you want more of? How about starting with some of the essential basics?

Would you like more time, more joy, more ease? How about some added extras: more money, romance, travel, friends, fun? For some, having more is about material stuff. Not only is there nothing wrong with wanting a new car or home, or taking a vacation, but in this process, you are empowered by deciding what you want.

Perhaps you have plenty of material wealth, maybe even more stuff than you need or want. Your “having more” list may actually turn into your “having less” list, as you purge and clear out the clutter. Too much of anything can be burdensome. Excess weight, whether it be in the form of pounds, people or worrisome thoughts, can be a drain.

Are you aware of where you are being weighed down or overwhelmed? Can you feel where you are being pushed and pulled? Where has “more” become too much? Whether you want more or less material property, this book will ask you to look beyond that. We’ll tap into your heart’s desires and discover what has real meaning to you. I once shared a cab home from the airport with an attorney. In his late 50′s, he appeared to be successful, but he looked awfully tired. The cab driver asked me what I do for a living.

When I told him I teach how to make dreams come true, he felt compelled to share a little of his life with us. “Twenty years ago I was fast tracking up the corporate ladder, when I decided to quit my job and drive a cab. Why? Because life’s too short to have stress and structure. The thought of continually doing more of the same made me nuts. In the last twenty years I’ve acted in a few feature films, wrote two screenplays and travelled to every continent in the world. I work when I want to, for as long as I want to. I feel totally free and love my life.” I looked over at the attorney and asked what he was thinking.

He said, “I’ve spent a lifetime working my tail off. I have a wonderful family who I hardly see, and great toys that I have no time to play with. I think I need to take a little break and revisit my priorities. But I’m nervous that if I don’t keep this pace up, my family will suffer. It’s just that if I keep going like this, I know I will have far greater regrets.” Beware of old programming that might immediately surface to squelch your creative process. Are you already starting to feel selfish or guilty? Does even the possibility of a life filled with more of what you want; bring up doubts, fears and concerns? Here’s one thing I know for sure. If you create a dream or a goal that you are more committed to than your reality, which includes your worries and doubts, and if you do something to move your dream forward every day or even weekly, you will transform your life.